Love Those Who Love You

Ada sat in front of me, twisting her fingers and forcing a smile.

"He doesn't call unless he needs help… but I still care," she said.

Meanwhile, Chike — the one who brings her food at work when she's too tired to cook, the one who prays with her, sends airtime randomly, and genuinely asks how her day went — was still in her friend zone. She told me, "He's too available… I don't feel butterflies."

Butterflies? Let's be clear: in matters of love, you are allowed to choose peace.

Choose people who choose you. And no, it's not pride. It's preservation.

Why Loving Those Who Love You Heals You

Psychologically

Loving those who love you regulates your mind. It gives your nervous system a break from overthinking, second-guessing, and trying to prove you're worthy. It silences that inner critic that says "I'm not enough." You sleep better. You smile for real. You breathe again.

Emotionally

Safe love heals. You begin to laugh louder, love deeper, and walk taller. Instead of feeling anxious after every chat, you feel affirmed. You don't have to shrink to be loved. You don't have to beg to be seen.

Spiritually

God is love — and love is not manipulation. It is not withdrawal of affection. It is not stringing someone along. When you love someone who genuinely honours you, it reflects the kind of love God has for us: honest, gentle, and mutual.