Anxiety Is Not Just Worrying Too Much

Ngozi told me she couldn't breathe at her own wedding.

Not from emotion. Not from joy. From panic.

Her heart was pounding. Her hands were trembling. She kept thinking, "Something terrible is about to happen," even though everything around her was beautiful and fine. She stood at the altar and felt like she was about to collapse.

She had felt this way, at varying intensities, for most of her adult life. She thought everyone did.

They don't.

What Anxiety Actually Looks Like

Anxiety disorder is not the same as being a worrier. It is not timidity or overthinking. It is a physiological response — your nervous system going into emergency mode when there is no emergency. Your body releasing stress hormones for threats that aren't there.

It can look like a racing heart and shortness of breath with no physical cause. It can be the inability to sleep because your mind won't stop catastrophising. It can be avoiding social situations because the thought of them makes you physically sick. It can be obsessive checking — doors, gas cookers, children — dozens of times a night.

Why African Women Often Miss the Diagnosis

We are taught to be strong. We are taught to manage. We are taught that our feelings are secondary to our responsibilities. So anxiety, for many African women especially, gets filed under "just stress" or "I need to pray more."

Years pass. Decades, sometimes.

Anxiety Is Treatable

This is important: anxiety is not a life sentence. With the right therapeutic support — and sometimes, in consultation with a medical doctor, medication — people recover. They live full, calm, present lives.

You are not destined to live in permanent emergency mode. Counselling can help you understand what's triggering your anxiety and build practical tools to manage it.